For many years I had wanted to attend the Elijah House School for Prayer Ministry. Finally God made a way and I came expectantly.
The main area that the LORD touched me was my great distrust towards HIM. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer seven years ago and had a recurrence with a very bad prognosis four years later. This highlighted my lack of trust.
During the duration of the school I stayed with a lady who had chicken in her garden. One day I was watching the hen flapping vigorously her wings trying to gather and cover her eight chicks. What is supposed to be - biblically - a picture of God’s watchful eyes and protectiveness over us made me sad. I could not get any comfort or truth for me in that.
I had to go back - once gain - to the beginning of my existence. My mother was not supposed to have another child due to health reasons. But the main issue in that pregnancy was my grandfather’s dependency on my mother as work force on the farm. His comment was: “How are we going to get the crops in? The pregnancy is right over the harvest.”
I had felt rejected and had all my life tried to earn my right to be. Although I had been dealing with this matter before with breaking a death wish over my life, now I needed to forgive my mother for her not so positive feelings about being pregnant with me, my grandfather for not welcoming me initially and my father for not protecting me. He did not feature at all in the conversation between my mother and my grandfather that I knew about.
I also needed to repent for bitter root judgments and resentments towards my mother. My mother never could rest. All her life I knew her being exhausted and never having time for me. I also had judged her for that. That was definitely a root for my restlessness and thinking I have to work myself to a standstill. I had reaped the fruit in my own life also in the way I was treating my children. God spoke to me in a powerful way right at the end of the school during graduation. Since the beginning of being ill with cancer God had spoken to me at various occasions in significant ways through roses as a sign for my physical and emotional healing and giving me my life back for HIS glory.
The graduation table was beautifully decorated with 140 roses. Scripture tells us that a life time is seventy and may be eighty years. Well, 140 is double a lifetime. What a promise! I am truly grateful for having had this opportunity.
Thank you to the Elijah House Team and Thank you to my heavenly Father!
How do we influence the negative circumstances we find ourselves in, our marriages, work circumstances, friend circles? It was through Elijah House and a 7 month journey that God showed me it is not easy dying to one self but is an important ingredient for the process of “change” to happen.
In my own life, by allowing God to work in me, I have seen a complete turn around in my work place, and attitudes of those closest to me. I have allowed change to influence the way people see me and not me them. I no longer look to blame others for my situation but start first with me. By allowing God to work a change in you, others will see you differently.Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. God through Elijah House has irreversibly changed my way of thinking and the way I now will live.
In these 2 weeks the Lord loosened me from myself and tied me to my identity in Jesus Christ. It is a great privilege to be able to say that I trust God 100% and therefore I have complete peace - no matter what the situation I am in. Together with the songwriter Anne-Marie van Eeden I can now call out:
"I choose love, I choose joy, I choose peace for this day; and forgiveness and faithfulness… ". With so many choices that come our way daily, I want to challenge you: CHOOSE to put your life in God's hand and give Him the opportunity to develop you to the full potential He has planned for you. Go and do the Elijah House school - you will never look back!!